How to Know if Divorce is the Right Choice for Your Family

ring against book, shadow looks like heart

Editor’s note: this was a difficult post for me to agree to publish. I’m of a mind to say that once people get married they should plan to stay that way for life, since most minor issues tend to resolve with time and maturity. That said, I recognize that there are frequently situations where the situation is untenable for at least one partner. In those cases, divorce may be the best and safest answer, however sad. I do hope that any couple considering such an option-especially if children are involved-will consider and indeed attempt counseling to work out differences.

How To Know If Divorce Is The Right Thing To Do For Your Family

Divorce is a process that is final once a married complete goes through it. Its effects can be devastating on other family members and cause a financial burden for the newly independent spouses. Before a couple decides to initiate the process of divorce, both spouses should make sure dissolving the marriage is the right thing to do. The following are ways to tell if a divorce is the right thing for a family to do:

The Home is Full of Distant Strangers

If the household is full of people who do not communicate with each other, divorce may be the right thing to do. No communication among family members can be detrimental to a child’s development and damaging to his or her self-confidence and esteem. Children need to see nurturing and loving relationships between their parents. If both parents are sleeping in separate rooms or disappearing and avoiding each other, it might be time for them to call it quits on the union.

Infidelity is Occurring

Many cases of infidelity occur because part of the marriage is flawed. The wife or husband may not be giving the other spouse enough attention. People will stray if their emotional and physical needs are not met. Alternatively, individuals with personality disorders or who just haven’t matured enough have been known to cheat. If a case of infidelity is serious enough to which the family cannot repair the damages, a divorce may be the only solution.

Fighting has Become a Common Practice

When two spouses have irreconcilable differences, they tend to put those differences on display when in close proximity. If a husband and wife cannot get along for one day, then it might be time to close out the matrimony. Additionally, if any cases of domestic violence become apparent, the spouses will need to remove themselves from each other’s vicinity.

Nothing in Common

When people start relationships, they usually become closer because they share common interests, views and goals. A married couple that has grown apart will have little in common with each other and not much interest in fostering or nurturing the relationship. This type of dissolution will most likely not be malicious. In fact, a family law attorney Fremont CA could easily help the couple come to an amicable agreement about the distribution of the assets, child custody and other issues.

Sometimes it helps to fight for a marriage. However, if the marriage is in some way unhealthy for any member of the family, divorcing might be the proper step to take.

Earnest Parenting: help for parents facing difficult choices.

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  • Corinne Edwards December 14, 2013, 4:04 pm

    Dear Amy –

    The divorce rates are down for one main reason – the recession. Another consideration is whether you can afford to support two households. Many people are living together wuth some peace until this situation improves.

    You don’t mention counseling. That should certainly be considered. Most insurance programs will pay for most of it. It does not always relult in reconciliation but affords coping skills is not possible for financial resons.

    I would eventually include children in the counseling, especially if they are old enough to understand.

    I hope you sre not the person who is considering divorce. I would hate to have one of my good friends go through this. It is so painful and disrupting. But if it is you, you have my prayers and support.
    Corinne Edwards´s last blog post ..START YOUR BOOK NOW – from Write Your Book – Publish Your Book – Promote Your book – on Amazon

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    • Amy LeForge December 16, 2013, 11:35 pm

      Dear Corinne,

      Huh. I didn’t consider the recession as a factor in the divorce rate. That’s interesting.

      Your point about counseling is well-taken, and I’m glad you suggested it. I’ll add another note to the post.

      No, I’m not considering divorce, thank God. So far, Hubby has continued to put up with me. 🙂 This is a post written by a contributing author who didn’t choose to add a byline so mine went on it.

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