Meeting a Potential Surrogate: The Questions You Need to Ask

surrogate mother

Before becoming a surrogate mother, each woman needs to follow an application and screening process to see if she matches the basic qualifications. A surrogate agency will handle answers to questions such as background and family history, but you will have the chance to sit down with potential surrogate mothers so that you can find the best one for you and your family. When meeting with a potential surrogate mother, there will be many questions you will want to ask and should ask her before selecting someone.

Additional Health Screening Questions

Even if a woman has been qualified to become a surrogate mother, it might be a good thing to ask her face-to-face about her health and her health care provider. Asking some health questions may be too personal for some people, so keep them simple such as who their OBGYN is and how often they visit him or her to check up on their current health. As you can communicate more and feel more comfortable talking with each other, you can try to ask them more personal questions.

At some point, you should know their full health history. Ask them about how their past pregnancies were and whether or not the births were natural or C-section. After two C-sections, there is a higher chance that complications can occur during a pregnancy and it is very important that both the agency and you how many C-sections she has had when giving birth to a child.

The Decision to Become a Surrogate Mother

Ask questions about their decision to become a surrogate mother and what past experiences and thoughts led them to make this important life decision for themselves and the families they would be helping by carrying their child for them. Ask them about their friends and family to see what their support system is like during their time as a surrogate. To carry another person’s child can be tiring both mentally and emotionally and you will want to know that there are people around for her to rely on to help her during the pregnancy if she needs it along with your support too.

Will She Want a Relationship with the Child?

Every surrogate mother will be different and some may want to keep in touch with the child they gave birth too while others will not. Listen and consider her thoughts on the matter and think about what you want for your child. Depending on which state you live in, you and your partner can become the full legal guardians of the child before birth by a “declaration of parentage” or after by adoption and you can decide what relationship you want between your child and the surrogate birth mother as well. Whether she becomes part of your child’s life or you keep minimal contact is something to discuss before beginning the surrogate pregnancy.

When you first meet with a potential surrogate mother, you do not have to jump to these questions right away. After a couple of first-time visits with potential surrogates, narrow down your choice with questions such as these to ensure you both understand what you want during and after the pregnancy.

Earnest Parenting: help for parents considering surrogacy.

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