Love and Logic Strategy of Catch Phrases Can Be Controversial

mom hugging toddler son

My weekly article on GNMParents (now ForeverParenting.com) went up yesterday, and I wasn’t expecting Stu to have a response. But he did. Which is great because he pushed me to really think about what I am doing and why.

From the article: Tonight though, I think I hit on what will work for both me and the kids. It’ll run something along the lines of “Oh man! That looks really difficult.” or perhaps “Dude! That’s a tough one.”

There’s more to the equation than just using the right words though. I think that not being angry is a big part of the success that Love and Logic parents enjoy. For me personally, getting to that point? Not so easy. And while I’ve attained a degree of calm in my life for now, there’s no guarantee that…(you can read the rest of Use Catch Phrases and Calm here)

Stu’s response began with: Empathy is indeed a key part of the foundation. But be real, don’t look for a canned phrase. It’ll come off as false or shallow. Kids may be less mature and less experienced, but they are not stupid. And a catchphrase comes across as a lack of empathy.

In his second comment he really got my attention with: So everything is your fault. Once you internalize that, it makes it ever so much easier to get the results you want.

What do you think?

Earnest Parenting: help for parents who want to learn from each other.

Image courtesy of BenjaminThompson via Creative Commons license, some rights reserved.

The editor-in-chief of Earnest Parenting, Amy is the mother of two sets of twin boys. Yes, they drive her crazy, but they also make her laugh occasionally. Amy enjoys writing, quilting, reading, and working on her burgeoning cyber empire.

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