Thoughts on Selfishness: A Letter to My Son

girl writing on paper

Hello Son,

I want to first remind you that I love you very much, and that I think you’re an amazing human being – even if you drive me crazy most days. I’m sure I bug you to pieces most of the time too. 🙂

This morning you came to me upset because your brother had picked up your pencil and was using it. “He stole it!!!” is how you informed me of the problem. My response, that someone can’t steal an item you choose to give, didn’t exactly impress you.

You were pretty annoyed that I didn’t seem to care about your pencil or how your rights to said pencil had been violated. It probably seemed that your cares weren’t important while I was letting your brother get away with terrible offenses. Again.

The truth is, I was saying that you’re important. Terribly important, as a matter of fact.

It doesn’t matter whether you have the pencil of your choosing or another one from the drawer.

What does matter is your heart. If it’s full of kindness and mercy, then I’ll see that in your behavior. I’ll see you prioritizing…putting the needs (and even wants) of others above your own.

I know that this really doesn’t make sense to you today, and that this lesson is one that you have to learn on your own over time. I hope though, that you come back and read this letter someday and can understand why your old mom doesn’t care about pencils.

I love you, buddy.

Earnest Parenting: help for parents who need to teach about selfishness.

The editor-in-chief of Earnest Parenting, Amy is the mother of two sets of twin boys. Yes, they drive her crazy, but they also make her laugh occasionally. Amy enjoys writing, quilting, reading, and working on her burgeoning cyber empire.

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  • reva December 1, 2009, 11:51 pm

    The son will be happy if all the parents are like you and express their feelings in a better way. You are good parent.

    Reply
  • Sourav December 2, 2009, 5:17 am

    Nice teachings anyway…Good that you're teaching your son how to become a true human being.

    Thanks Amy
    TC

    Reply
  • Sherry December 2, 2009, 2:24 pm

    What an interesting post Amy! From what I remember as a child sometimes I didn't understand my Mom's logic and why she did the things she did, but now as a parent I truly understand. Situations similar to this one stuck in my brain and it would have been nice to have a note such as this one to read in the future. Thanks for sharing and I hope he will read it sometime and be comforted by your words and love.

    Reply
  • webdesignhosting December 3, 2009, 4:56 am

    Teaching to child how not to be selfishness by the parent is welcoming article

    Reply
  • Lovely Lady December 3, 2009, 7:41 am

    Thank you for the post! From what I remember as a child sometimes I didn't understand my Mom's logic and why she did the things she did, but now as a parent I truly understand. Situations similar to this one stuck in my brain and it would have been nice to have a note such as this one to read in the future.

    Reply
  • stellamary December 4, 2009, 4:49 am

    You really a good father no Godfather for your son.He could understand and love you and his brother.The pencil is the thing which may be bought ever not the affection of the siblings and also the parents..You are in right way go ahead your son will become great man by your thoughts.

    Reply
  • garage organization systems December 7, 2009, 7:11 am

    Great Letter. You are very caring and lovable to your son. I need to take a copy of this letter for my future use.

    Reply