Way too many months ago I was asked by Dr. Cary Chugh to review his book Don’t Swear With Your Mouth Full. He also said that his book picks up where the Love and Logic technique falls down. I was both interested and challenged by this claim, as I am a tremendous Love and Logic fan.
I’m going to be honest (I always am when I review products….oh, full disclosure: Dr. Chugh sent me a free copy of the book). This book was a difficult read for me. I think the problem was my attitude, because once I actually dug in and got to the meat of his idea I really liked what I saw.
The first 4 chapters of the book lay a foundation for the main thing that Dr. Chugh is teaching: a practice he calls Behavior-Limited Discipline. I have to agree, it works. In a nutshell, you get to be the parent who lovingly and logically imposes limits while at the same time giving the responsibility for the misbehavior and the restitution over to the child. It’s brilliant!
One of the things that I get frustrated with is trying to figure out how to get the kids to feel a little pain over their misbehaviors. Let’s face it. The Love and Logic approach calls for calm, hands-off responses. I’m too much of a control freak to do it naturally, so if I don’t have an advance plan, I often wind up lecturing. That’s just not going to effect the changes I want.
With Dr. Chugh’s plan I do have an idea in advance of how to respond in most situations. That fact alone can bring great peace to my stressed psyche.
Chapter 5 is the big chapter, where he lays out the technique in detail. The remaining four chapters cover how to use the strategy with different ages, in the classroom, how to help kids learn from discipline, and then final thoughts.
A very refreshing feature of this book is Dr. Chugh’s analyses of current behavior practices that are commonly used and why they won’t work. While I don’t agree with some details here and there, he does make a lot of sense, especially when you understand how Behavior-Limited Discipline can be so effective.
Don’t Swear With Your Mouth Full is written for families who have truly difficult children. As much as I complain about mine, it’s still the case that they are not difficult. However, the strategy works with them too. I tried it. 🙂
If you’re happy with how things are going in life and don’t have any complaints about your children please write me and let me know immediately. For the rest of us, this is a great addition to your bookshelf and to your parenting bag of tricks. You can purchase a copy of Dr. Chugh’s book on Amazon, or directly from his site for a discount.
Earnest Parenting: help for parents who don’t swear with full mouths.