Comments on: Applying Just Enough Pressure http://www.earnestparenting.com/2009/08/21/applying-just-enough-pressure/ Encouraging heroes. You can be one too. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:05:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Amyhttp://www.earnestparenting.com/2009/08/21/applying-just-enough-pressure/comment-page-1/#comment-15223 Amy Sun, 13 Sep 2009 02:55:18 +0000 http://www.earnestparenting.com/?p=1147#comment-15223 ISageni it depends on the habits you're dealing with. There's a difference between behavior that is unacceptable and behavior that is normal for the age. I don't like how my new puppy makes messes on the carpet, but it's part of her age and I simply have to keep training her to do the right thing. By "training" I mean watching her EVERY second, taking her outside anytime I think she may need to potty, and praising her like mad when she does. If she does make a mess inside I either say "No" firmly or simply nothing at all. In time, she'll figure it out. If you tell me more specifically what you're dealing with I could probably give a better answer. :)Roxanne, right on!Poker, thanks. And you're absolutely right. It is difficult. Sigh.Baby Carriers thanks. I'll keep pushing then. The good news is that the Tae Kwon Do argument has simmered down a bit. Now to fight about school.Gilbert, will do. Thanks for commenting!Crystal, I agree completely. I just wish it wasn't so much work to get them to just DO whatever we're asking of them. Sheesh. :) ISageni it depends on the habits you’re dealing with. There’s a difference between behavior that is unacceptable and behavior that is normal for the age. I don’t like how my new puppy makes messes on the carpet, but it’s part of her age and I simply have to keep training her to do the right thing. By “training” I mean watching her EVERY second, taking her outside anytime I think she may need to potty, and praising her like mad when she does. If she does make a mess inside I either say “No” firmly or simply nothing at all. In time, she’ll figure it out. If you tell me more specifically what you’re dealing with I could probably give a better answer. :)

Roxanne, right on!

Poker, thanks. And you’re absolutely right. It is difficult. Sigh.

Baby Carriers thanks. I’ll keep pushing then. The good news is that the Tae Kwon Do argument has simmered down a bit. Now to fight about school.

Gilbert, will do. Thanks for commenting!

Crystal, I agree completely. I just wish it wasn’t so much work to get them to just DO whatever we’re asking of them. Sheesh. :)

]]> By: Crystalhttp://www.earnestparenting.com/2009/08/21/applying-just-enough-pressure/comment-page-1/#comment-13950 Crystal Sat, 29 Aug 2009 14:33:26 +0000 http://www.earnestparenting.com/?p=1147#comment-13950 Keep pushing them just the same way. IMHO, it's these lessons that teach kids about commitment and follow through. It is important to finish what you start even if you don't want to sometimes. These skills are vital to being a successful adult.We have the same issue with DS4 (almost 5) and soccer. He wants to play for the first couple weeks, then it starts, he doesn't want to go, but has fun while he's there. By the end of the 7 week session, 1/4 of the team has stopped showing up and the kids that do have to play the whole game because there' are no fresh kids to come in for a tired player. We go every week, rain, cold or shine. We insist that he play when the team calls on him and we do not let him quit halfway through because he wants to be all done. "Your team needs you," we tell him. "You need to go out there, listen to your coach and do the best you can. We know you are tired, but you can do it!" Then when the game is over, there is snacks, high-fives and all sorts of praise for how he dug deep and pulled through.I feel that learning this lesson now teaches him that he can push himself and do things like take care of his future family when he is sick, show up for work when he doesn't feel like it and persevere through the tough parts of life that he'll have to face. Keep pushing them just the same way. IMHO, it’s these lessons that teach kids about commitment and follow through. It is important to finish what you start even if you don’t want to sometimes. These skills are vital to being a successful adult.

We have the same issue with DS4 (almost 5) and soccer. He wants to play for the first couple weeks, then it starts, he doesn’t want to go, but has fun while he’s there. By the end of the 7 week session, 1/4 of the team has stopped showing up and the kids that do have to play the whole game because there’ are no fresh kids to come in for a tired player. We go every week, rain, cold or shine. We insist that he play when the team calls on him and we do not let him quit halfway through because he wants to be all done. “Your team needs you,” we tell him. “You need to go out there, listen to your coach and do the best you can. We know you are tired, but you can do it!” Then when the game is over, there is snacks, high-fives and all sorts of praise for how he dug deep and pulled through.

I feel that learning this lesson now teaches him that he can push himself and do things like take care of his future family when he is sick, show up for work when he doesn’t feel like it and persevere through the tough parts of life that he’ll have to face.

]]> By: gilberthttp://www.earnestparenting.com/2009/08/21/applying-just-enough-pressure/comment-page-1/#comment-13821 gilbert Wed, 26 Aug 2009 20:41:00 +0000 http://www.earnestparenting.com/?p=1147#comment-13821 Great post..for me tell your child to be patient and keep telling them repeatedly not to take any actions until they grow up. Tell them that they are definitely independent to choose their partners but also throw light upon the kind of responsibilities one has to deal with. Tell them to give time to their relationship and see if it can withstand the test of time. Great post..for me tell your child to be patient and keep telling them repeatedly not to take any actions until they grow up. Tell them that they are definitely independent to choose their partners but also throw light upon the kind of responsibilities one has to deal with. Tell them to give time to their relationship and see if it can withstand the test of time.

]]> By: Baby Carriershttp://www.earnestparenting.com/2009/08/21/applying-just-enough-pressure/comment-page-1/#comment-13649 Baby Carriers Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:12:23 +0000 http://www.earnestparenting.com/?p=1147#comment-13649 I hear you... I have a three year old that hates to leave the house sometimes (he's recently become a Thomas fanatic), but I also have a 14 year old step-son - he's pretty good about it most of the time, but I definitely hear the attitude when he has homework, or I want him to go outside instead of watch TV. I think you're right to be pushy about these things. As long as they're enjoying the activity once they're doing it - that's your clue. When they hate doing it, maybe then you look for something new. It's important to keep them active in the community or sports... good job! Sorry you have to deal with the whining though! I hear you… I have a three year old that hates to leave the house sometimes (he’s recently become a Thomas fanatic), but I also have a 14 year old step-son – he’s pretty good about it most of the time, but I definitely hear the attitude when he has homework, or I want him to go outside instead of watch TV. I think you’re right to be pushy about these things. As long as they’re enjoying the activity once they’re doing it – that’s your clue. When they hate doing it, maybe then you look for something new. It’s important to keep them active in the community or sports… good job! Sorry you have to deal with the whining though!

]]> By: pokerhttp://www.earnestparenting.com/2009/08/21/applying-just-enough-pressure/comment-page-1/#comment-13643 poker Mon, 24 Aug 2009 19:22:33 +0000 http://www.earnestparenting.com/?p=1147#comment-13643 Wonderful Blogs with full of Tips. It is not easy to grow children & insist him that he get rid from some of his bad habit :) Wonderful Blogs with full of Tips. It is not easy to grow children & insist him that he get rid from some of his bad habit :)

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