Have You Honked at Your Children Lately?

Canada goose

We’ve had a surprising number of groups of Canada Geese flying overhead the past few days and boy are they noisy. It’s amazing how much honking they do as they fly. Conventional wisdom is that they’re encouraging the leader to keep going. Just for kicks I looked it up, and found this at the Birder’s World web site.

Nearly all songbird species make frequent contact calls when migrating at night, however. They tend to fly in loose groups as opposed to cohesive flocks, so they use contact calls to communicate with others of the same species and to stay on course.

Whether they’re honking for encouragement or coordination, the contact calls are an important feature of the birds’ journey. This got me to thinking about parents and children, and the importance of contact and communication in that relationship. In my case, building trust has been a major theme of late. The more I work on clear communication with the boys, the more we seem to be becoming a team. It’s slow but the progress is there.

What about you? In what area do you need to communicate more clearly with your children? Are you sending out the contact calls necessary to keep your flock on track? Are they calling back to you?

Have you honked at your children lately?

Earnest Parenting: help for parents who want to encourage their children.

Image courtesy of taq_zhyn via Creative Commons license, some rights reserved.

The editor-in-chief of Earnest Parenting, Amy is the mother of two sets of twin boys. Yes, they drive her crazy, but they also make her laugh occasionally. Amy enjoys writing, quilting, reading, and working on her burgeoning cyber empire.

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  • Bath and Body August 18, 2008, 4:09 pm

    What an interesting analogy you brought, comparing communication in a family to that of the flock. I like it and I think it holds true.

    Reply
  • Doug August 19, 2008, 10:26 am

    Honk….honk, honk. Encouraging honk. Great, inspiring thought. You are right about the contact and communication. Why do we so naturally resist doing that?

    Reply
  • Amy August 25, 2008, 3:23 pm

    Thanks Bath and Body! I appreciate you stopping by to comment.

    And Doug, I don’t know. I think about it a lot. I heard someone on the radio the other night considering the same question: Why are we willing to compliment someone to another person, but not directly to their face? It’s something I want to work on.

    Reply
  • Val Garner December 31, 2008, 2:37 pm

    Great thoughts. So true also about complimenting someone to another, so the person talked about in a good way never even knows. Or we think those good thoughts and never say them at all.

    Today at the gas station, I was buying gas and some snack foods for my grand daughter (8). I didn’t have enough cash for it all and thought I could put it on my card. She’s with me at the checkout, and I discover they station does not take the form of only card I have. So, I have to choose, gas or snack and my tank is on empty. So, needless to say, snacks had to go. She did well without whining or complaining, although I could tell she was profoundly disappointed.

    When we got in the car I made of point of telling her how mature she was by not throwing a fit, whining or complaining at the disappointment. Then we talked abit about disappointment in life. I was so proud of her in that moment, and for this child, that area is not a strong point. She needed to hear the “atta girl” here.

    Reply
  • Rewrite January 6, 2009, 5:36 am

    Totally agree with you. Regular communication – be it verbal or through gestures is extremely important to build bonds with your children.

    Reply
  • Amy January 7, 2009, 1:39 am

    Val, wow! I’m proud of her too!! Did you brag on her to someone else so she could hear it?

    Rewrite yes, the nonverbal is just as important! Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

    Reply
  • Baby Diaper Cake March 3, 2009, 8:28 pm

    yes this is very true we definatly need to prase our children more.

    Reply
  • Amy March 16, 2009, 8:01 pm

    Baby Diaper Cake: I think so too. As long as we are doing it in all sincerity. The Self-Esteem movement of the past decade or two is showing that we can’t just praise any little thing because we wind up creating monsters. Our words have to be specific and meaningful.

    Reply
  • Sunny March 24, 2009, 10:00 pm

    I honk a lot, but their ears shut down once I open my mouth. It’s a mysterious illness. lol

    Reply
  • Amy March 27, 2009, 11:01 pm

    Sunny keep honking! They might be pretending to ignore you, but all those positives do sink in.

    Reply
  • labor lawyer manila April 8, 2009, 5:14 am

    I do believe that when you shout at children, even when you see that they are not listening, what you are saying is coming in their heads and understands it. Children will become afraid if you would shout at them. Just talk to them and say what you will be saying in a nice way. They would surely listen and understand.

    Reply
  • Baby Wrap April 14, 2009, 2:42 pm

    This is a great wake up call. I (shamefully) admit I am better at doing this with my own 2.5 year old than with my 14 year old step-son. I guess it’s because I’m just not as close with my step-son and I see him much less often, but regardless, I think I need to remedy that!

    Reply
  • Amy April 14, 2009, 11:51 pm

    labor lawyer manila, well said. It’s difficult to maintain the patience some days, though, isn’t it?

    Baby Wrap, I find it much easier to deal with the younger boys than the olders. I think it has something to do with my experience levels. When we go through a stage or phase the first time, it feels like it’ll never end. But with the little guys I know roughly how things will go and it’s easier. Best of luck honking at your stepson. Encouraging him can improve the relationship, and that’s a good thing!

    Reply
  • social networking philippines May 6, 2009, 3:34 am

    Re:Have You Honked at Your Children Lately?
    This is interesting. In my opinion, communication is a very important tool between a mother and a child. It builds strong relationships both.

    Reply
  • music philippines May 10, 2009, 11:09 pm

    I must admit that sometimes parents tend to forgot the communication lines open with their children. I think in order for a parent to understand the feelings of her/his child, he/she must be open or willing for communication and with understanding of course. thanks for sharing your post!

    Reply
  • Deutsch Latein July 26, 2009, 10:37 am

    As a daughter, when I was a kid my mom has never skipped communicating with me in my younger years.

    Reply
  • Jerry @ vintage t shirts October 20, 2009, 7:25 am

    Its amazing that you got such a ting in your mind and you made it come out in sucha beautiful way….
    I really appreciate

    Reply
  • ajdv October 29, 2009, 11:00 pm

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  • Send Flowers to Pakistan December 24, 2009, 11:34 pm

    Great Thought, I am agree with you. Keep it up.

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  • Secure Web Hosting Services February 2, 2010, 12:02 am

    The main parental role is communicate with their child from birth of the child

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