Good idea about the check without the amount thing. I hadn’t really thought of that. I think the boys know that we give but it’s not something we talk about a lot. We have a neighbor whose kid is big into the “my sandbox is bigger than your sandbox” thing. He honestly said that to me when he was about 5. I was floored. I absolutely hate that kind of thing and don’t want my boys to talk that way. I’m sure they do, lol. But they at least know not to do it in my hearing.

Wow, that’s high praise. Thank you so much, you made my day.

For the most part I don’t have fragile things out around the house, which helps with the ball-bouncing. And I try to direct them downstairs, which is still unfinished-although that will change over the next few months. I am still considering concrete furniture and/or rubber walls.

In order for the light to shatter on contact with the ball, a pretty wild game had to be taking place. The foolishness in this case was rather extreme. I heard the crash from 40 feet away through a closed door and thought it was in the kitchen, which was only separated from the bathroom by a hallway. It was that loud.

Okay that was more than one thing. Sorry. Shutting up now.

The money thing: What if you show them everything but the amount, keeping that private? That way the only one-upsmanship that could appear would be “My folks give to charity,” which seems a non-issue (and possibly a good thing).

The punishment thing: absolutely a brilliant idea to have them pay for the new bulb. I’m thinking that, upon hearing your idea, what I would do even if the quilts weren’t involved. I agree, break a rule that results in breaking a thing, you pay for the thing. That’s just real life.

As for the ball thing: You are way more flexible than I am on that score. I won’t allow super-ball bouncing or anything of that nature. Anything that can possibly cause damage must be kept in our complete control at all times. No throwing anything, whether it’s your shoe or a ball or whatever. Yes, I’m nuts, I get it.

Thanks for your blog, these posts of yours are really helpful to me. They give me a perspective that not only helps me as a writer, but as a parent as well. Dig that.

They each have a collection of the small bouncy balls – we called them “superballs” when I was a kid – that I don’t mind being bounced in the house. I do encourage them to try and bounce them in areas where the balls can’t get lost in small crevices but other than that I don’t really throw fits about it.

I know kids are going to do foolish things. I don’t expect 9yos to act like adults. And yes, I know boys are destructive. Do I ever know that.

I also know that my personality, the fact that I’m not male, and the fact that I’ve never had a twin makes it difficult for me to relate to them. I try to keep that in mind.

On the other hand, there has to be some consequence for their foolishness. It’s in dealing with consequences that we learn to change our behavior. One consequence for the boys was me yelling. Not proud of it, but there you have it. Another was them seeing me cry over those quilts when I thought I’d have to throw them out. That was not planned, in fact I tried hard to conceal my sorrow but they caught me.

At this point, I’m still planning to have them purchase or contribute to the purchase of a new light. I got the last one for $15 but it was on clearance and I don’t know if I can find something that cheaply again. We’ll see. If not, I may just have them contribute. We haven’t gone to the store yet.

As for the money thing, I’m pretty unwilling to show them the amount on the checks, which are written to our small church. Both Hubby and I are very uncomfortable with the boys having that information because then they’d be tempted to repeat it to other kids. Boys….one-upmanship….it’s a given that if they knew they’d eventually tell someone. That may change when they’re older, but right now I don’t want to burden them with that particular responsibility. That’s why we are looking for other ways to demonstrate helping others.