Just now, his hineyness told me very angrily that his twin had ‘disobeyed’ him. This resulted in a lot of open mouths and laughter but it appears that he’s convinced that he was disobeyed. I suggested he remove himself to calm down for a while. Missed the fact that he got followed, and the situation escalated into physical violence. Sigh. I’ve been seeing too much of that lately. We’ve been emphasizing for them to use their words and not just slug a sibling without warning. Yesterday I added step 2: get help from an adult. We’ll see how it goes.

I think one of the keys to parenting is to have a lot of tricks in your bag because there’s not a one size fits all consequence. What do you think?

Hmmm. I guess it is good to step back sometimes and evaluate our parenting. While I might be “Earnest” in intention, it may not be effective in outcome.

@LA Mama: Would you still be disapproving if I repeated the detail that The Mercenary volunteered to make the sandwiches, and added the detail that he routinely makes lunch for all the boys? This wasn’t a case of a child overwhelmed by a task he couldn’t complete.

I could easily have done the job myself, but had no idea that the bread in the sandwich bags was dry until we were on the road. He made a choice to abandon the job-and to be dishonest about it by telling me lunch was ready when I asked.

The concept of punishment isn’t one I am comfortable with. However, natural consequences that teach lessons I am all for. I want my kids to learn things when they’re young and the consequences of bad choices are a lot smaller rather than have supremely difficult lessons to face later in life. I know too many adults who’ve had to go through that, and the price is too high. If a person says they’re going to do something, then it’s completely reasonable for me to expect that they will do their best to follow through and keep their word. My son most definitely did not do that last week.

@Angie: Love that idea! Totally fits with the Love and Logic approach. Something I can do with a sweet smile on my face while making a point he won’t soon forget. I like having a new trick in my bag. A couple of bucks out of his pocket for some peanut butter would have been a great solution. I’ll have to keep that in mind.

You could have asked him to pay for lunch with HIS OWN MONEY! Now, I don’t know if your boys get an allowance, have savings, or whatever - but my thought is that if one of my girls was responsible for packing lunches -and didn’t- they’d be buying sandwiches for all of us while we were out. Nothing terribly expensive, mind you, but certainly a stop at the filling station for a couple of deli type sandwiches, or at the grocery for a jar of pb to add to that bread.